someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
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