why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
