my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
