I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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