I will die if light touches me.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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