At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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