I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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