Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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