all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
This is classic penis vs brain.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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