Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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