I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Dick very happy bro
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
