This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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