I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
