O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
