keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
