they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
