oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
