stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
