i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
