I'm eating all of the evidence.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
