we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize