I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
