i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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