if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
this beer tastes like vomit already
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize