I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
