Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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