You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
