matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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