I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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