I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
