Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Let's paint friendship bongs
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
