no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
