is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
