Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
