I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
