were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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