good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
