I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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