FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
