I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
