That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
