I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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