What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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