redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize