Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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