I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
