my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
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