I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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