Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
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Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
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I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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