Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Duck Duck Cougar?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
