i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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