Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
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I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
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YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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